Apres-15th Tax Day

As usual, I managed to finish my taxes with plenty of time to spare, dropping them off at the local post office by 6pm yesterday (this is actually earlier than most years).

I did have one problem, however, trying to figure out this form...

PA SCHEDULE FU - PART C

1. ______.00 Total Income Eligibility from Line 14 of PA Schedule IDK
2. _____ Number of Dependents claimed on Line 27c of PA Schedule BFF (include number of Icelandic refugees fleeing the bad economy there who were living with you between 12:01am and 5:59pm, December 31, 2009)
3. _____ Number of fruit-bearing mango trees growing in your back yard (see instructions for PA Schedule LMFAO)
4. _____ Number of dancing chickens you own (you will also need PA Schedule SNA-FU if number is greater than 2 but less than 15; if entering 16 or more, you will need PA Schedule NIMBY)
4a._____ Number of dancing chickens you own who also play the oboe (refer to Pa Schedule PWN, Part C3-PO) Do not enter number of dancing chickens you own who also play the viola as that is totally incongruent.
5. _____ Average number of hours spent daily on Facebook (multiply the number of hours you just sit there waiting for someone to comment on your status by the percentage found in Internet Overulitization Tables/Social Networking from p.41 of PA Schedule ST-FU)
6. _____ Number of times you have gone to Borders Books and Music only for coffee (use Worksheet found on p.134 of PA Schedule *$)
7. _____ Number of times you had to listen to some Right Wing Blowhard on a Radio Talk Show during your car-pooling commute (if you do not car-pool, please use PA Schedule FU-BAR)
8. _____ Adding only those positive numbers in lines 2-7, determine the percentage of your Empirical Continuability Allowance and enter it here (use tables on p.74b of instructions for PA Schedule WTF)
8b. ____ Multiply Line 1 by Line 8.
9. _____ If line 8b is greater than line 1, send it to us.
10. ____ If line 1 is greater than line 8b, send it to us.
11. ____ If line 8b is half the square root of the next prime number after the figure you entered on line 1, send it to us anyway.
12. ____ If you want the State Department of Revenue to determine your tax liability, send us everything you've earned and we will figure it out for you.